♥ Monday, February 21, 2011
I guess I have lost 2 friends.
And it's rather impossible to get back like we used to in the past?
I don't know.
It's rather hurtful to realise this when I have no intention of losing them.
Or when I didn't even imagine before that they might leave me.
Are they being too dwelling in the past and not forgiving?
Or was what I did that really made the friendship beyond repair?
Uhmm.
I dont know.
Could anyone call me and give me advice or comfort me?
Or should I be thick-skinned and go ask them?
Tears in my eyes but I'm not letting it fall now.
Not when I didn't know the exact truth. :X
♥ Thursday, February 10, 2011
I really can't take this kind of workload cum stress anymore.
I'm still having illness now.
Yet, there is this one great big important thing i need to complete by tmr 11am!
I still have my RWPS to be done by 12pm today.
I'm not going to complain about my rwps coz i was given lots of time to complete but i didnt make use of it.
But the stuff I need to complete by tmr 11am was given yesterday!
I dont have the time and energy to complete so many things at one shot!
I'm not a superwoman!
My body and mental has a limit.
More than that, I need to hand in another stuff by today!
And this stuff was given yesterday!
I have totally no energy yesterday!
I didnt get to do any of those stuff yesterday coz I seriously need rest.
Today i need some rest too!
But yet I'm not able to!
How can my health get better?
And I got work tmr from 4pm to 11pm!
Doing CS work is out of voluntary.
But those stuff are not out of my own voluntary!
I feel being forced too!
As noble as a person can be, he/she still has their own limit.
When they are tired, they will rest.
And now I need rest but I couldn't when I wanted to.
Those stuff are making me feel irritated and I find CS meaningless now.
Coz I'm not given the choice to accept or decline.
Volunteers outside they may be able to commit themselves lots to CS work.
Maybe coz their health enables them to.
But my health does not for now.
But yet I have so many of them to do.
I believe the volunteers outside they are able to rest themselves if their health are not at good state.
When I'm not doing things I'm willing to do, I feel forced.
Everyone else too I think.
I'm really mentally drained and so does my health.
I can't take it.
But can I reject it? NO!
What am I supposed to do now?
I still have the YCM disclosure report to do.
Who is able to help me out?
I need someone to pull me out of this pit.
I'm seeing darkness and no slight beam of light.
