I think I'm lying to myself.
Maybe you are right.
I dont dare to face this reality.
It's hard for me to.

I misses the times...
We were in the train on our way back from CSCC chalet.
We chatted on msn for consecutive 10 days.
We were playing at Sentosa happily.
I smacked your chest for a dare.
We prawn.
We sms each other.
We hold hands.
We spend together.
We meet up whenever we can.
My phone vibrate coz you text me.
You send me home.
When I 'sniff' your shirt coz of the nice smell.
We hug.
You nagging me for being dirty coz I bath only once a day.
You say my hair was quite smelly.
We always can't decide on where to eat.
We called each other pig.
I called you '猪八戒', You called me '猪八姐'.
I called you 'Wang Ba Dan', You called me 'Chou Ji Dan'.
We watch movies.
We buy badges with pig pic each.

Basically,
Everything we did together and you did for me.

I regret the times...
I keep quiet.
I ignored you coz of my immaturity.
I keep making you angry.
You didnt quarrel with me.
You keep mum, keep to yourself and don't tell me where I was wrong.
I didn't realise I was being unreasonable.
I bring up the wrong topic...

There's totally no turning back.
But yet, I'm still hoping for the miracle.
I think you are right.
I dont dare to face this reality.

But it's just like,
Your parents were still doing very fine in the afternoon when you last talked to them.
And, in the night, a call inform you that they are dead.

I'm just like facing this situation.
It's all too sudden.
And yet, I can't hide myself and cry a whole day.
I still have to put up a strong front in front of my family.
I still have to keep this matter behind my mind.
I still have to focus and study when I can't focus.
It's very difficult for me to deal with this situation now.

Who can help me?

Now, there's no one whom I know will be there and whom I can turn on to whenever I have troubles.
Am I actually able to face you like a friend when in club?
Where we used to meet up everytime after school,
Where we used to be a couple in front of others.
And in sch?
Where we used to meet into one another and were happy.

I miss you,
But I know you dont,
Not even a single bit.

My heart breaks and is still breaking.